Me and My Shadow

by | Oct 16, 2018 | Astro Scribe

1st Quarter Moon (under the Blood Moon of LIBRA) in Capricorn

Shadow IS one of the most complex and primary depth psychological-alchemical ASTRO MAGICK elements we work with here in Astro Mysterium. Many have their perceptions of Shadow, and I have my own. Which is why I would like to point you to what I have been taught and now worked with for 36 years of my life. Yes, even the guru I had for those 12 years of ardent service to the Light was one of the best teachers and guides into the Shadow realm. She could name that Shadow and deliver it up to you on a silver plate. Unfortunately her response to the shadow after culling it out was a grave error which caused more splits than integration of the shadow, thus mental illness. And thissssssssss is what I desire to steer you away from.

Our response to the shadow, of guilt and shame and self flagellation, stems directly from the patriarchal religions. In essence, you’ve been bad, greedy, hungry, a whore, a liar, a thief, and now you need to pay. Some of what is turned over from below in the realm of the shadows IS just that. We have stuffed allllll that we were taught that was bad and therefore had no consciousness to tend to those drives. No way to temper our tempers because we were taught TEMPER was bad. No way to work with our voracious hungers, because we were taught that greed and DESIRE was not of the righteous. We were taught our sexuality was evil and so we were never taught what turns others on, and thus do it without consciousness. Or how to take care of our own pussies, so we ran after all the men to do it for us, meanwhile pretending we don’t like sex and only men are pathological in their sexuality.

So yes, there is no way to dress the ‘monsters’ up when they first come out of the darkness, blinking their eyes, looking around for the first time at a world they have never belonged to.

Yet to blame this upon yourself is to take on the whole guilt and shame that the patriarchy still wants you to do. Keep on whipping yourself, keep on shaming. Keep yourself bowed low.

No, if you had no Mother who taught you about masturbation and how to have ecstatic union with your clit, and how certain behaviors are for sexual attraction and if you want to be safe you don’t walk around other horny animals who have no control and expect them to have control until they too are trained.

No one drinks with us, so we learn how from our drunken peers. Same with drugs, no elders to guide us in the rites!

We are given sugar when we are babies, which has similar neurons to heroin, and sets us up for a lifetime of whacked out eating.

We are poor while our best friends are rich, so we go out and steal because why wouldn’t WE want nice things too?

This is a fucked up world to be born into. and no one is trained, few. Except through shame, which doesn’t work, cause look at those priests. And gurus who split off… “sex is bad” and then have 10 men mounting them. Mine did. She died of severe mental degenerative disease. She was completely split off from her drives and so they ran amok.

So yes… how do we return the shadow? We do it through painting. We do it through dance. We do it through the rituals I do which are designed to work with the shadow in a protected safe zone. We create rage masks. We go to Pussy Church (aka groups of WIIIISE women who have learned about our wondrous sexual nature!)! and learn of the holy WILD potency in our bodies.

Yet, you do not go into this territory alone. We do it together as a community, as Shadow Dancers. We take care of ourselves and each other. Inanna knew she had to call on Ninshubur, her attendant, because no matter how noble the visit to the underworld to her sister Ereshkigal, Inanna knew she was going to be pissssssssssssed when she saw her.

All of us here who are engaging in this work are doing shadow work, and really doing enough… when we feel called and do what is prompted and engage in the rites. We are dipping in through reflective writing, embodied art, the shadows. At the Dark New Moon! What are the shadows of Libra?

Each month we receive a new piece of the shadow to work with. How do I relate? Is the place to explore in this month in Libra. What do I project on others in my intimate relationships? what is mine to start working on? I guess I will start dealing with the bills too, rather than put it all on him. The shadow work doesn’t all have to be in ritual. There are different levels of it.

And then, there is the Shadow which is always with us! ALWAYS like the Sun casting a Shadow! We cannot NOT cast a Shadow! Shadow casting and integration, weaving, dancing, art creation is a natural part of LIFE! If I am a Mother, my Artist shadow can start being unruly because sit is not tended to.

So think of this. Whenever we are living one way… the other aspects of self unless tended to and given air from time to time, IS CAST IN THE SHADOW REALM…. until we draw them out. We may not be able to rage because we are caring for young children or in a professional setting, so we have to stuff it. We need to go to our Shadow Church which for me occurs on the Dark Moon and we do our rage dance.

So this is a lifelong process. and it isn’t a “ohhhh yes, I am bad so I have to confess process.” It is just a true place and we must practice always COMPASSION and deeper seeing and understanding… and stop beating ourselves up at every crossroads. There are reasons, often survival ones, and other ravaged turned into addictive ones that drove us to the shadows we have.

We must embrace the fullllll catastrophe of who we are! and what LIFE IS! and please just make ART out of it! the Art of Self Creation!

Without SHADOW there is no MEDIUM to make the ART or LIFE or CONSCIOUSNESS! It is a beautiful thing. The Alchemists of antiquity saw it as the most valuable precious material… the LEAD… the Dark Prima Materia… and would go on the hunt for it, because without, there was no transformation… no Gold of the Self.

So yes, I love the shadow. Everything you see here… of me this treatise ^^ my art! all of it… is because of the ongoing flowing dark material shadow stufffffff of the underworld flows out and spills out everywhere. Sometimes it is hard for me to accept that I am doing this and so fully exposed… but in the end, I really have little desire to control it, because I have tried and that only makes me very sick and offers nothing to the world except the little me.

Love of SHADOWS is truly the WAY!

What we are doing here IS Shadow Work. That is its premise and primary work. The Shadow of the Astrological Archetypes… and what is underneath that?

The HOLY WILD! Hallowed Be Its Name

Thank you Serpentine for your inspiration.

What Shadows are stirring for YOU today?

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