This week was lost to travel after being away for almost two. But I have been writing. Writing about my Unleash Your Wild Creative Daimon program which launched last week. I am now being taken to task to explain the indefinable mythic image I have named the program after… the Daimon. Yes, the mythic Daimon first coined by Socrates, and the subject of my upcoming book, The Dark Eros Diaries. The subject being ME and the way my personal wild cryptic creative nature reveals itself through my very wild cryptic creative life = my Daimon.
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet…”
It has now become a quest! How many ways can I define this phenomenon? This mysterious force that evolutionary biologists would reduce to the patterns of dna and forces of physical nature, while the religious claim it as soul. Soul has been hijacked and sanitized by the ‘good’. Yet soul is gnarly and complex. Its what we see in an Oscar Wilde and a Virginia Woolf. What we drink in through the imaged lives of a Frida Kahlo and an Emily Carr. Yes, THIS is the daimonic soul. It is what is most unique about us and has as much to do with our suffering and our dark sullied selves as it does our glory.
How many ways can I say it?
I want to circle another question I was asked this week… where did my idea for my book, The Dark Eros Diaries, come from? The question has been swirling. The material for this book comes from the many yeared pursuit of my madness… of my Daimon. The energy breaking through my psyche in my early 40s was what I wanted more than ANYTHING else in my life! MY creative self and her wild expression IN life! I could see it rising on the horizon. I could feel its immensity. I had NO IDEA what it looked like, but I knew it was antithetical to the social norms and was going to break me wide open.
I was hungry for it. The lives of the artists I loved and admired… musicians, writers, painters… had traversed the depths of their mad genius as it intersected and defied the status quo. Look at them! Not ONE was normal! Virginia Woolf had constant terrors due to her radical writings defying the times. Emily Dickinson organically developed her pathology to keep her wild inner rebellion cloaked from those who if they really knew would burn her at the stake.
The force of the Daimon IS radical. It will shake your life up and everyone around you. It is the force of your character evolving you beyond what has been. It IS the Revolutionary breaking down that which no longer serves and in fact is criminal to your soul.
My sojourn took me into the deepest recesses of my psyche. Yet I didn’t want to explore it through a sterile analytical route. This was not a neurosis. It was my genius! So I began to work with those who understood and respected this energy in that way… the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, Marion Woodman and her Bodysoul Intensives, and the Authentic Movement Institute… along with my own dark eros explorations into women’s ancient mystery rites.
At ITP I set my own thesis…. told them I wanted to be the research and the researcher. This Institute explores the most radical edges of the transpersonal forces. Those enrolled venture into their psyche through wildly diverse avenues… psychotropics, celibacy in the priesthood, transgender experiences. They had no problem accepting my explorations, as long as I knew it wasn’t meant to be therapy. As long as I took responsibility for my own mad genius and worked it. And I did. Fiercely.
I was in the midst of the most exquisite dark brilliant visitation and I wanted to feed it! Nourish it! The edge of riding that energy was going to require everything I had and more, which is why I sought out the best. My adolescence had been radically destructive and chaotic so I had experienced these dark wild forces before. THIS time I wanted, I needed, I HAD to create art from it! And fashion a deeper more authentic me in the world than had ever existed.
My book is going to be a collection of short stories revealing how I applied all my training to my psyche breaking out, unleashing itself… without going insane. It is only now I have decided to train others to also do this for themselves. All the years of my training and work at these Institutes was for the sole purpose of working with my own Daimon without totally losing my mind and destroying my life.
My newsletter this week SUCKED! It falls woefully short of the above. I was wrestling with my attempt to get to this core essence which is what my book is about and for which I will have to write to what the hell this nebulous THING is! named, the Daimon… or Daemon as many spell it. I chose the other spelling because the spelling with an ‘e’ freaks people out. Too close to Demon… which of course is perfect. The Daemon can feel very demonic.
Ah yes… the Daemon by any other name…